Need for Comprehensive Sexuality Education

Lately,the mainstream media has been fascinated with women’s issues. There is an excessive focus on the violence and assault females face as well as anxiety and concern with respect to their mobility.Not to forget, a lot of projects are being taken up to “empower” women but they usually lack a gender sensitive approach and end up being patronizing in nature.

Considering the fact that people lack an understanding of what constitutes abuse and what healthy relationships should look like,it is very important to establish a CSE or Comprehensive Sexuality Education material in schools.As we know very well,the transition period from childhood into adolescence can often be a painful one.Teenagers are expected to single handedly and successfully deal with their own self esteem and body issues. There is a lack of a supportive environment in their homes and schools and this is a direct result of a huge gap of communication.This gap is made worse by the fact that elders lack a proper vocabulary and a nuanced understanding regarding sexuality.

Unlike popular misconception,sexuality involves a lot of issues and it is not merely restricted to sexual activities or knowledge of sexual and/or reproductive anatomical details. It involves the interconnections between relationships,consent,abuse,violence,gender,body image issues,ethics,values etc.Not only that,it is not age restrictive,meaning it has huge implications on our lives from the beginning till the end.Therefore,we need CSE that can be easily integrated into the school curriculum.Also,for a CSE material to be effective,it needs to be gender just,uniform and universal in nature.

A lot of parents,law makers and religious fundamentalists feel that CSE would lead to sexual experimentation. To that,my response is that it is important that young children (and adults as well) need to be aware of issues regarding consent,love,safe sex and violence to protect themselves.Not only that,CSE teaches children to respect themselves and their partners as well. It is also important to move beyond fear based messages and concentrate on self affirming ones.We need to remember that as elders the way we talk about sensitive issues regarding sexuality in general shapes the way young kids approach their own sexuality. No wonder a lot of people are dealing with body shaming issues in the society and find it very difficult to accept their desires and needs (or the absence of any sexual libido). This kind of silence does not help anyone and leads to creation of harmful myths.

It is better to equip people (including women) with information about safety and pleasure.That is how true empowerment can be achieved.Not through surface level changes that hold no value in the real world and are definitely not sustainable in the long run.

#whyloiter Campaign

Hello friends!

This is regarding an online campaign that you can join from anywhere! The event has been created by the authors of the ‘Why Loiter’ book.

The following is the message that can found on the Facebook page for the campaign:

Responding to the increased victim blaming and the restrictions on women’s mobility that takes place when a woman is sexually assaulted in public space in India, the #whyloiter campaign asks women to hang out in the city, to make use of its public spaces, to loiter aimlessly and to use the hashtag #whyloiter everytime you do! Post your loitering status on Facebook and/or tweet about it and use the hashtag #whyloiter.

The idea is to create a sense of a community of women in public space so that we can remind ourselves and other women that we are not alone. In doing so, we hope to create a conversation and target victim blaming in order to assert women’s right to the city, the right to take risks.

This is a two-week campaign running from December 16, 2014 to January 01, 2015.

The campaign starts on 16 December, on the two-year anniversary of the horrific Delhi gang rape and murder that had thousands of people on the street in protest. To mark this day and to assert our right to public space as citizens, and to register our voices as an act of resistance we are getting together for this online event.

But of course, it is not just an online event. People are being encouraged  to go out and be in public space in whichever place you are with whomsoever you desire – just remember to tell us all about it.

On the Events page, we will be sharing a series of posters inviting women to hang out as also a set of messages with them. We will also put out a series of tweets. When you are hanging out in the city having a good time please post these to FB, Twitter, Instagram, Four Square, always using the hashtag #whyloiter. We also encourage you to create your own messages, art work and tweets and share them with us.

Here is what you can do to participate:

1. Starting 16 December 2014, you can change your profile picture/cover picture to one of the posters we’re sharing. Better still, use all the four on different days. Or simply share the posters on your page to build awareness.

2. At all times, particularly between 16 December 2014 and 1 January 2015, update your status on FB or tweet or share a photo via Instagram when you are having a good time in public and use the hashtag #whyloiter.

3. You can also follow us @whyloiter and share the tweet messages we are sharing on twitter.

4. Share the fact that you are loitering and if you like share your location too so we can create an exciting map of where women are loitering in the city.

So, can men participate in this event? Certainly! Men can support women’s right to public space by also putting out our posters, messages and tweets. Just use the tag #whyloiter when you do.

Let’s start a movement! Let’s make our claim on public space! Let’s have fun!

‘Why Loiter’ is a book that has been co authored by Shilpa Phadke, Sameera Khan and Shilpa Ranade and presents an original take on the meaning and implications of women’s safety in twenty-first century India. The authors argue that though political and economic visibility has brought women increased access to urban public space, this has not automatically translated into greater claim to public space for them.
Based on more than three years of research in Mumbai, this book not only maps women’s exclusion from several public spaces, but also attempts to understand how women from different localities, classes and communities negotiate with real and implied risks of being in public everyday. It further suggests that women’s access to public space cannot be seen in isolation from the access available to other marginal groups.

Featured image credit:

Why Loiter page,Facebook

The limiting nature of gender

Gendering is a social conditioning process that starts from childhood itself. Society expects strict adherence to the gender based norms and roles.In case of non compliance to these rules, it often punishes and ostracizes the rebels or the ones who do not confirm.

It is often pointed out that there is a universal subjugation and oppression of women in the World. A lot of people use the ‘biology as fate’ arguments to defend this phenomena.”Women are biologically weaker”,”they need to be protected” etc . Not counting the fact that giving birth to a child is anything but a sign of anatomical weakness,let us be a little skeptical when science is used as a tool to justify ideas that are sociocultural in nature.Not to forget, biological deterministic statements have been used in eugenics programs around the World at some point or the other to eliminate certain groups.

Of course,when one says that gender is socially constructed,it does not mean that the construct itself is not real and that there are no implications of the same in our lives.The main issue here would be the restrictive boundaries that come along with the process of gendering.One cannot also disregard the stereotypes that are attached with such definitions.These stereotypes lead to creation of patriarchal practices that keep women under control.The lopsided power equations in the society is a direct result of this phenomenon.

Interestingly, there are still some people who strongly feel that gender is biologically determined.What they tend to forget is how delicate and limiting these definitions of masculinity and femininity really are. There is a constant anxiety among men about losing their masculine status and this leads to alternate expressions of gender being marginalised or disrespected in the so called mainstream society.In the discussion of gender one cannot disregard the inflexibility and rigidity attached to the gender dichotomy of masculinity and femininity. There are many people who consider themselves to be gender fluid or genderqueer. Their gender identity or expression may not fit into mainstream definitions of what a man or a woman should look,behave or act like. There is an ongoing gender neutrality movement that aims to end discrimination caused due to gender based norms.

Genderqueer

We need to remember that although stereotypes are based on some level of truth ,they show us just one side of the story. The other voices are often silenced in the society and this is an extremely violent practice. As a humanity,we need to be doubtful of ideologies that place one group of people over the other.

Photo credit:

rgt-1 by john / CC BY 2.0

It’s the season to be jolly Fa la la la la,la la la la

Hello friends!

I have been using this blog sporadically but now I am planning to be more regular with my posts. Also instead of just linking my articles that are published in different websites,I shall be producing and publishing more original content here.

In further news,I am really excited about a few articles of mine that I am planning this month. One or two of them will be collaborations with some feminist writers/activists friends whose work inspires me a lot.

In all,December is going to be fun and am looking forward to 2015 as well.It shall be a good year 🙂

Mob justice

Feminism in India had recently published my article that inspects the effectiveness of mob justice systems on tackling VAW (Violence Against Women)issues in India.

Link:

http://feminisminindia.com/vigilantism-mob-justice-side-effects/

Women’s Web republished the article here:

Is Mob Justice The Right Course Of Action?

The main point that I had put forward in the articles was that unless and until there is a mass level gender sensitization in the country,it is possible that a lot of these efforts to empower women will eventually fail.This is due to the presence of an unequal power structure in the society that makes women vulnerable to abuse and violence in the first place.

Women and technology

Women’s Web published my article on the possible connections between gender,patriarchy and technology.The link is as follows:

http://www.womensweb.in/2014/09/women-and-technology-careers/

Comments are welcome.

Girl children and their education

This post is a part of the #Selfies4School blogathon hosted by the site Breakthrough. Breakthrough is a global human rights organization which is working to make violence and discrimination against women and girls unacceptable. Make sure to visit their space for some awesome articles and videos on gender issues and child rights!

Click on the above e-badge for more info about the campaign!

Now, you may ask, what exactly does the #Selfies4School campaign intend to do? The main aim of this campaign is to raise awareness about the issue of sending young girls to school and why educating them is a good idea.This would help prevent early marriages for these girls.

The campaign attempts to connect working professionals across India’s metros to start meaningful discussions around the topic of early marriage. Early child marriage is seen as a predominantly rural problem but if people from the cities feel a connect with this important issue, the higher would be the chances that they use their power to influence peer group conversations as well as call to action to promote the importance of receiving an education.This in turn would decrease the likelihood of early marriages. Also, as I intend to do with this blog post, other people can share their story as well so that people are equally inspired and encouraged to be a part of the campaign.

Let us inspect some facts and data regarding child marriage in India. According to the UNFPA, India has the largest number of child brides in the world. 47% of these girls are married off under the age of 18. These marriages are often performed without the consent of the girls. The worst affected states are Andhra Pradesh, Bihar, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, and Uttar Pradesh. The UNICEF’s Child marriage fact sheet which was published in November 2011 mentioned that 5.8% of girls in the age group 6-17 years in rural areas dropped out of school as they got married. Also, 1 in 3 girls in the developing world is estimated to be married before the age of 18.

Child marriage is a blatant violation of a child’s rights. This has major implications on the freedom and the quality of life that the child would live. Child marriages basically deny the girl children right to health,proper nutrition,freedom from abuse,violence and exploitation. In a way, it also snatches away the innocence of the child, who is forcibly thrown into adulthood at such a tender age.

Education is very crucial in a woman’s life; more so in the Indian context. In a country like ours, where heavy patriarchal practices limit a woman’s life and career prospects, education can be used as an important tool of empowerment.

Women should embrace education as it helps them gain knowledge and awareness of the world they live in.It gives them freedom to make their own life decisions. It also helps them develop their independent thought processes and gain self confidence. More importantly, it equips them with certain skill sets that result in high paying jobs.

The school dropout rate is shockingly high in India, especially for rural areas, but this too has a gendered implication. The girl children are more likely to be pulled out of schools at an early age, due to the patriarchal reasoning that women belong to the private sphere (read home front) and do not need education like the male children. In a society where there are increasing instances of gender related violence and injustices by the day, Indians need to re evaluate the way they look at the girl child and her worth. Numerous efforts are being made to “help” women, but I feel the most important thing we need to focus on is girl children education. Not only does this prevent early marriages, it also helps them gain more socio economic and political status in the society. They end up gaining more decision making power in their own homes and the freedom to participate in the public sphere. If a girl child is allowed to finish her schooling, she is more likely to make smarter decisions in her life. Research has shown that education results in improved health conditions for women since they are well equipped with important information about family planning ,safe sex, healthy maternity ,etc. They are also likely to be better at home management.

Personally, the one word I often associate with education is freedom. Freedom to think ,act and choose a better quality of life. I have recently finished my Masters degree and I believe that this helps me shape my career the way I want to. Being educated means I can do whatever I am passionate about as well as earn money and respect for it! The degrees I hold are not mere pieces of paper, they also affect the politics I believe in and in a way,shape the way I look at the world. Throughout my schooling and college years, I was encouraged to be a rational thinker. I ended up being an independent, open minded and socially responsible human being. Not only that,I learnt tolerance and how to respect difference of opinion. In short,education gave me the right to speak my mind and to justify my stand. I am valued in society and my voice matters.How awesome is that?!

After finishing my B.Tech, I was pretty content with my life and the job I was doing. I soon realized I was not very happy with the work I did,but it paid the bills. So I couldn’t complain. But then,I saw a movie called “The World Unseen” which made me question a lot of things in my life. The film was written and directed by Shamim Sharif and was based in the 1950s South Africa, when Apartheid existed.Racist attacks were a daily occurence then. The protagonist of the story is Miriam and she is a neglected housewife, undervalued by her husband and his family. She meets a woman called Amina, who runs a successful business and is fiercely opinionated and independent. They soon form a romantic attachment and Amina, who is a political lesbian, slowly brings Miriam out of her shell. There are many scenes where Amina encourages Miriam to read poetry and discuss her aspirations and thoughts out loud,without any fear of judgement.

Amina’s character left a deep impression on my mind. She was very educated and had strong ideas of what it meant to break free from tradition and harmful stereotypes about women. She hated racism and homophobic ideas and was an anti Aparthied protestor in the movie. Her thoughts about the pointlessness of hetero normativity and her intense dislike for forced marriages were very progressive indeed. She loved reading and her father(who was well educated and quite cultured) encouraged her life decisions throughout the movie.This character soon became a personal favourite of mine.It was obvious that Amina was able to articulate her viewpoint and ideas in such a coherent manner due to the education she had received.

Meanwhile,I soon realized that I needed to do some quick field switching. I had always wanted to do something meaningful with my life and I figured out that a suitable higher education could easily lead me to my desired work profile. It could offer me opportunities and open up doors for me. I don’t think I could have done so much if I had been married off just after my B.Tech (Which my parents must have been planning.Can’t blame them though.Societal pressure) Things would  definitely have been a little different. Realistically speaking, women have to take care of dual responsibilities after their marriages.I guess,it could have been a tad difficult to figure out a different career path than IT. When I think about it,a lot of my recent career decisions would not have been possible.

Thus, you can see why I highly appreciate and value the education I have received throughout my life. And I wish that more and more girls were given the opportunity to learn and grow in life.As the late Nelson Mandela said,

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world“

Amen to that.

 

REFERENCES

1.Berhane-Selaisse, T. 1993. “Research on Early Marriage or Child Marriage in Ethiopia; Summary of Interim Report.” Newsletter of the Inter-African Committee on Traditional Practices Affecting the Health of Women and Children,15(11) ; TUFTS University

2. The Global Partnership to end Child Marriage. 2014 .Girls not Brides.Retrieved from http://www.theelders.org/docs/child-marriage-factsheet.pdf

 

 

Women and makeup

The cosmetics and makeup industry all over the World is huge! Personally, I love make up since I feel it allows a person to openly express his/her own individual style.In a way,it really is an art,because if you don’t know how to do handle make up properly,it might end up looking garish.

Unfortunately,instead of a mere personal indulgence as it earlier was,nowadays make up is seen to be a necessity for women (and sometimes teenagers as well). Women are expected to be dressed and dolled up on a daily level,which can not only be tiring for some but it also forces people to adhere to a particular routine.Cosmetics and costly make up products feed into an obsessive culture of consumerism.Make up can be seen as reflecting the middle class aspirations for many Indian women who like to buy International brands because it brings a certain status to them.

I would like to explicitly point out that there are certain women who like to use make up everyday by choice.This is completely okay,since their agency is involved.But what is not okay is the idea that a woman cannot not use these products and be happy with herself the way she is.It should be the woman’s decision as to how she needs to present herself to the World,with or without makeup.Young girls and women nowadays face extreme body image issues since they are taught to dislike their natural self.The constant self surveillance measures they use are harmful to their body images.

Another problem I have with the cosmetics industry is with regards to the effectiveness of the products.Many researchers have found that manipulating the consumer psychology plays a big role in the marketing and selling of the make up and cosmetics.In fact,a lot of the products’ effectiveness is questionable and it has been found that the heavy chemicals used can sometimes end up harming the facial skin (which by the way,is a lot more sensitive than the rest of the body). Herbal and Ayurvedic remedies for the skin work better in most cases.A research conducted by the Spanish Foundation for Science and Technology has found that cosmetics predominantly work on the “feel good” factor,i.e. a lot of women buy make up not because they find them useful but because it makes them feel good about themselves.The reasons for this could be the ones mentioned before in the article.

The unrealistic media representation of women leads to many problematic attitudes such as body shaming,fat shaming,anorexia,etc. Again, I would like to stress on the fact that the make up industry in itself is not the problem.In fact it is a popular misconception that it is anti feminist,which it is not! But if the society dictates that women cannot go out without using these products ,it simply adds to the growing list of body issues that women already have.And then,self love and acceptance go right out of the window!

REFERENCES

1.Green,L. [lacigreen] . (2011,February 12) . Makeup madness. [Video file] . Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHJjsB6L-b4

2.Spanish Foundation for Science and Technology. (2011, July 22). Do we buy cosmetics because they are useful or because they make us feel good?. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 27, 2014 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/07/110721095846.htm

3.Jones,T. (2012, October 1). Beauty NOT skin deep. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2211302/Beauty-NOT-skin-deep-New-research-shows-expensive-cosmetic-creams-penetrate-skin-repair-within.html

She is a someone: Not someone’s !

Women’s Web published an article I had written about the issues of person hood,gender and rights.It talks about how we need to look at women as people with their own rights and not just with regards to their relationships with men.Oftentimes,the latter leads to exaggerated paternalistic concern which tends to control and restrict a woman’s movement.She is seen as property of a man.Thus,even the respect she gets is according to the nature of the relationship she shares with the men in the society-mother,sister,wife,daughter etc.

The link is as follows:

Women as People

xoxoxoxo

Menstrual myth busting

In India,there are many myths surrounding the menstruation phenomenon which inhibit the movement of women.Food related restrictions,hiding the fact that you are on your periods,not having open and honest conversations about menstruation,etc. leads to creating an environment filled with unnecessary paranoia and misinformation.

I have recently written a Campus Diaries article on why it is important to dispel menstrual myths.

The link is as follows:

Menstruation myth busting and why we need it

Comments are welcome! 🙂